How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?
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By Anthony Malibu
A bad breakup can rattle your whole world. When your boyfriend ends your relationship, it can seem like everything’s crashing down all at once, making you feel empty inside. From here, you can pick yourself up and move on… or you can try to repair your broken relationship by getting your boyfriend back. Both roads are hard, but only one of them ends in reconciliation.
Are you still in love with your ex? Sometimes relationships end before they’re meant to, or before you get the chance to fix what’s wrong. If your boyfriend ended what you believe could still be a great romance, you may be stuck asking yourself the same question all women bring up at one time or another: Just how do I get my boyfriend back?
Before you begin working toward reversing your break up, you’ll need to first do some damage control. If the breakup has already happened, the actions you’ve taken immediately afterward can have a direct effect on winning back your ex. No matter what you did (or didn’t do), you’ll need to identify and eliminate any behaviors that might ruin your chances of ever dating your ex again. In the effort to fix things quickly, many women fall into the same old bad habits when it comes to handling the days and weeks immediately after getting dumped by an exboyfriend.
Putting Yourself On The Side of the Break Up
Your boyfriend ended things for his own reasons. Did you fight him on the breakup? Try to convince him that he’s wrong, and that the relationship really
work? Did you tell him how much you love him, or need him, or that you’ll try and change for him? Because if you did, all of these actions will come back to haunt you when it comes to getting your boyfriend back. You’ve started off by showing yourself as needy and desperate – and these two behaviors will stick in your ex’s mind. Did you argue with your boyfriend that he’s dead wrong about wanting to break up? Now you’ve aligned yourself against him as well. By fighting him on the decision he’s made, you’re essentially telling him that decision’s not good enough. This is one last fight between you, and it’s one that you can’t win.
Now let’s look at the flip side of the coin. Imagine your ex telling you that things just aren’t working out, and that the two of you need some time apart… and you nod your head. You tell him you agree, and that you yourself have seen the same problems in the relationship. Picture the look on his face as you kiss him on the cheek, wish him luck, and then walk away unscathed from the breakup.
What’s going through your boyfriend’s mind right then? TOTAL insecurity. He’s going to immediately suspect that you’ve been unhappy for a while, and he’ll need to know why. By agreeing with him here, you’re actually putting yourself on his side. He has no one to fight, and he has no one to argue with. You’ve seized control of the situation rather than let him take complete power over you by breaking things off all on his own. How do I get my boyfriend back? By doing this and walking away cleanly, without even looking over your shoulder.
Agreeing With The Break Up After It’s Already Happened
Okay… the break up happened already. So what? Think it’s too late to let your ex know just how much you agree with his decision to part ways? It’s certainly not. There are ways you can let your ex know how you’re feeling, even if you’ve already tried to hold the relationship together or made moves to get your boyfriend back. One of these methods is the post-breakup letter. Write your ex a short note, maybe one to two sentences, telling him “Listen, you were right. Things weren’t good between us, and you made the right call. I wish you the best.” Don’t write anything more, and make sure the note is handwritten for a more personalized effect. Once you send it off, forget about it. Your next step is easy: no contact with your exboyfriend at all.
Creating an Environment Where Your Boyfriend Misses You Again
When asked how do I get my boyfriend back, one of the most common answers is “let him know you’re thinking about him”. Sure, maybe in the movies. But in the real world? This is absolutely flat dead wrong. The more your ex believes you’re hooked on him, the faster he’s going to start dating other girls. This is because he knows where you are, what you’re doing, and that he can get you back with the snap of his fingers.
Putting yourself back into your boyfriend’s head is easier than you think. It requires only a single step: breaking all contact with your ex. The problem is, this is a step women refuse to follow. Instead, they call and text and email their ex boyfriend to death. And in doing so, they’re shooting themselves in the foot.
Know what your ex does whenever you text-message him? He smiles. He friends punch him in the arm, he puts his phone back in his pocket, and then he goes on with his single life. Your ex isn’t thinking about you when you’re always sweating him… in fact, that’s when he’s thinking the least about you. Your ex can’t miss you until you go away – learn that one little lesson, and the rest of your reconciliation will fall right into place.
When you haven’t called your ex boyfriend, he has no clue what you’ve been up to. When you haven’t text-messaged him, he’ll start to wonder why. When he gets home at night and there’s not a single message from you, your ex will actually start to worry. Maybe you moved on. Maybe you found someone else. After all, there has to be
reason you’re not chasing after him. And as the silence continues? Your exboyfriend will need to know why. He’ll start asking about you, and trying to find out whether or not the relationship really is over. But up until you stop contacting your ex? As far as he’s concerned, he can get back together with you whenever he wants to. Which is exactly why he doesn’t want to get back together with you.
Making your boyfriend miss you is as simple as leaving him completely, utterly, and totally alone. It’s tough not to call the person you love, but if you want to get your boyfriend back? You’ll have to stay strong enough to make that sacrifice.
Talking To Your Ex Boyfriend on The Phone Again
How long should you wait before contacting your ex again? Long enough that he can’t wait to hear from you. Every romance will be different, but in most situations you should let things go completely silent for at least three to four weeks (and in some cases even more). By the end of that time, getting back in touch with your ex is made easier by the fact that you haven’t chased him. You’ve maintained a high level of respect from him, because he knows you’re not desperate to get back together. In fact, he’ll wonder if you even want to get back together at all.
Pull off the no-contact rule correctly, and it’s more likely than not that your ex will call you. But if he doesn’t? There are ways of getting back in touch with your ex that don’t give up your position or power. Some methods are designed to get your ex to dial your number, and other techniques are made to break the ice by coming up with legitimate reasons for you to call him. Learn what these ways are, so you re-open the lines of communication in a positive way.
And what should you say to your ex on the phone when you want your boyfriend back? Not a whole lot… at first anyway. Re-establishing a connection should include catching up on what each of you have been doing, but at the same time not interrogating him or mentioning anything to do with the break up. The call should also be mega-short, in order to leave him wanting more from you. By getting off the phone quickly, you can be assured that he’ll need to call again. And when he does? Tell him you’ve gotta run, but that maybe you could meet up for lunch or coffee.
Meeting Your Ex For The First Time After The Break Up
Before you jump to to the end question of how do I get my boyfriend back, you’ll first need to meet face to face. Setting up the reunion date is one of the last steps along the road to getting back together, but it’s also a step you don’t want to rush. Move too fast and you could scare your exboyfriend away here, undoing all of the work you’ve done so far to get your ex back. Say the wrong thing and you could also tip your hand, letting him know that you need him just a little bit more than he needs you. Right now your advantage is that you’ve got him interested… and chasing you too. You need to keep that going by not revealing too much on the reunion date, and by letting him do most of the talking.
When it comes to getting back with your boyfriend, you won’t want to leave anything to chance. If you love him and can’t stand the thought of losing the relationship, moving forward without a plan is like risking everything. Only by mapping out a step-by-step blueprint for winning him back can you greatly boost your chances of dating your ex again.
About the Author: There are 8 Individual Steps that will
Get Back Your Ex Boyfriend
, so find out what they are! And for more information on getting back together, check out
How to Fix a Breakup